The Christmas tree is up. So is my sugar level. I’ve eaten enough sweets to plunder every Wal-Mart in the Southwest. We know that Christ is the main word in “Christmas,” but I think the suffix, “mas” must mean “celebration by the inhalation of all that is unhealthy for human consumption and would otherwise kill two thirds of the population of Earth” in Latin. It must be.
So we gorge ourselves for Christ’s sake, do we? We can’t help it. It’s in our genes. At least we try to fit it all in our jeans the week we return from Christmas Break, but it tends to hang out. That’s the effect of one more round of M&Ms I found at the bottom of my stocking. And the toffee I made for just the occasion. And the Russian Tea and ham my mother has conjured up in the kitchen for, what else?—Christmas feasting. The cajillion snack size (isn’t that term ironic?) Hershey candy bars I’ve consumed do not help either. My stomach growth isn’t a problem I want to discuss. Although that belt I received last year for Christmas did seem a bit bigger than what I’m accustomed to. I mean, you would think Goodwill ought to be stocked up from all the clothing donations I am so generous to give after the holidays.
Poor old Santa! He’s been alive for hundreds of years, right? He has had to suffer through hundreds of Christmases and the delicacies that are attached to the season. I’m sure it seemed enjoyable at first, but now look at him! He’s so bloated, he can’t even use the front door! He has to come down the chimney!
New Year’s Eve isn’t much better. I haven’t the time to recall staying up until way past midnight fattening myself up, celebrating the coming of another year in which I can again attempt to loose weight. I mean, we have to have a reason for resolutions, right? The tradition of New Year’s resolutions must have sparred from the Early Christmas celebrators’ need to loose weight after gaining ten pounds over the holidays and to be rid of the uncomfortable bloating feeling.
But this year is going to be different. From now on, and throughout this Christmas, I will try to control my eating habits and I will resist my urge to fill my bloodstream with chocolate. I will eat healthy! I will not return to my habitual holiday gorging nature! Heck, I’m even doing a little workin’ out. Trying to build a fire builds up a real sweat. It’s worth it, though. When I sit down to a nice warm blaze with my bowl of M&Ms and toffee, I know I am already on my way to good health and fitness.
